March 26, 2008

May not be reprinted without the consent of Sue Miller

Contact: Sue@suemillerpresentations.com

WORKPLACE WISDOM NEWSLETTER

Building Your Self-Confidence

Self-confidence enables us to interact with others at a high level of

effectiveness. A lack of self-confidence keeps us from reaching our goals,

but it also offends others in various ways. The bottom line is that it limits

your relationships with others. Let's look at the many factors related to

building our self-confidence.

Here we go....

1. WHY is self-confidence important to me?

Your confidence or lack of self-confidence is EVIDENT. You can not hide it from others.

The way you walk, the way you talk, the things you say...ALL OF THESE ARE TELLING

OTHERS ABOUT YOUR CONFIDENT LEVEL. You will attract people when you

appear confident. Why? Because confident people inspire confidence in others!

On the other hand, what can I learn from someone who is timid and afraid? Not much!

Why go to a meeting when the leader is afraid to make decisions? Your lack of selfconfidence

can limit your career opportunities.

2. HOW do I build my self-confidence?

You must have focus and determination to do the following three things REPEATEDLY!

1. Manage Your Mind.

• Think about the things you have achieved in your life; write them into a log book.

• List your strengths (the things that naturally come easy for you.)

• Set continuous short-term goals for yourself that increase your success and

happiness.

• Promise to COMMIT YOURSELF to these activities and WORK toward your

goals.

2. Now, Do The Work.

• Acquire the skills you need to achieve your goals. (a workshop, self-help book,

lecture, mentor, etc.)

• Begin the habit of (a) setting a small goal, (b) achieving it, and (c) celebrating that

achievement.

• If you hit setbacks or make mistakes, analyze them and GROW from them.

• Over-and-over again, repeat the process of making and achieving small goals

until this becomes a habit.

March 26, 2008

May not be reprinted without the consent of Sue Miller

Contact: Sue@suemillerpresentations.com

3. Eventually, Stretch Yourself.

• Set larger goals - worthy of much work and lofty ideals.

• Look for places to truly make a significant contribution with your life.

• Accelerate your pace; pick up speed.

3. What KEY SKILLS do I need to learn?

• Make eye contact when you speak.

• Smile!

• Walk with a brisk pace.

• Hold your head up and keep your shoulders back.

• Don't begin every sentence with an apology.

• Learn to modulate your voice so it resonates -- and is not weak and "breathy".

• Let others "brag on you" -- don't brag on yourself.

• Admit your mistakes readily; then apologize.

• Thank everyone that helps you - with a sincere tone in your voice.

• Demonstrate your courage - in decision making and in delivering a tough

message.

• Think "new" thoughts; learn to be visionary (not an "imitator" of others)

4. What ROADBLOCKS may get in my way?

• Your own negative self-talk

• Your fear of failure

• Your fear of not being liked

• Your lack of commitment

5. Are there DANGERS in developing my self-confidence? Maybe, a few.

• Keep your ego in check. People don't like to be around you when you're full of

yourself.

• Balance being self-confident with being overly confident.

• Don't "assume" you know more than you actually do! Be careful to be correct.

6. Can I REALLY overcome a lack of self-confidence? Of course, you can!

• You must WANT TO develop a greater sense of self-confidence.

• You must COMMIT TO doing what needs to be done.

So, to build your self-confidence

• Realize it takes time; it's a process.

• Work hard to develop the skills that you need.

• Respect and manage the roadblocks.

Building your self-confidence is an "inside job". YOU have to do the work.

Friends can only coach from the sidelines.