May 31, 2006

May not be reprinted without the consent of Sue Miller

Contact: Sue@suemillerpresentations.com

WORKPLACE WISDOM NEWSLETTER

Our Confidence

We're strong. We're confident. We can adjust.

We can handle changes.

And then, often quite suddenly, our confidence gets

shaken!

I’m from Dallas, and I’ve watched the Dallas Mavericks’ confidence become

shaken as they won Games 1 and 2 of a 7-Game series. Then, to their utter

amazement, they lost games 3, 4, and 5 in rapid-fire order.

I was living in the sunshine of our family’s good health; and with sudden

news, I found that my mother needed surgery. My confidence and sense of wellbeing

was severely shaken. I thought: “What would these next days and weeks

bring? I was in unfamiliar territory as I “worried for her health”. (She is fine now, I’m

so happy to say.)

I listened to a young woman in a large organization several months ago. She

had been in one of my management workshops. She had been given a poor

performance evaluation but could not get the evaluating manager to tell her

specifically what caused the low evaluation. She cried, she was hurt, she was

confused…and most of all, she said, "I've lost my confidence."

I have a friend who lost his wife suddenly after 43 years of marriage. He

feels, not just hurt and grief, but a sense of confusion about his future. His

confidence that life will be fun again has been severely shaken.

So what is it that shakes our confidence?

Thousands of things, but...

Mostly, it is simply having to change from the “known” to the “unknown”.

It frightens us. We lose our confidence for a period of time. We are in unfamiliar

territory…and our path is not clear. We’re a “little bit lost”!

Here Are 6 Confidence-Building Strategies

1. Everyday remind yourself of what was good about today.

Focus on friends, gifts, good performance, praise, material possessions, etc.

2. Let inspiring stuff get through to you!

Yes, you may want to stay away from the evening news for a while!!! The media is

mostly designed to shock us, so maybe it would be good to take a sabbatical from

the "negative"! Read inspirational stories, watch movies that have good endings,

find great biographies at the library or bookstore. The idea is to see that others have

had uncertainty also; and then learn how they managed through the change. Let

yourself be inspired! Guys, you too!

May 31, 2006

May not be reprinted without the consent of Sue Miller

Contact: Sue@suemillerpresentations.com

3. Be thankful.

Not everything you have or have done has been totally created by you! Is that a

surprise? Stop and count your blessings! What do you have? Write notes and call

people who mean something to you. What about material possessions? If you lost

them, then stop and count what you have left! Be thankful for what you have and for

the individuals who have helped you.

4. Associate with good people.

Good people see the “good” in many things. Let them be your role models. Good

people will help you quit seeing the "hurt" and the "loss"...and they’ll help you see

"the good" and regain your confidence. Keep your distance from whiners,

complainers, losers, and negative influencers until you're feeling confident again.

5. Do something! Get up and accomplish something.

As a young pre-teen, I began to love poetry. One of my favorite poems is "Do

Something for Somebody Quick"! When you’re feeling shaky, or blue, or down...go

do something for someone else (and hurry!). Habitat for Humanity provides a type of

outlet for helping others...along with thousands of other such organizations. Find a

way to help someone or do something for someone that is not expecting it.

6. Do something for yourself EVERY WEEK.

Find a way to "celebrate" the accomplishments of this week. Do a little thing just for

yourself. Buy something. Plan a trip. See a movie. Select a different restaurant. Buy

a great-looking new shirt - ask "What’s the latest fashion?"! Buy a new piece of

furniture, plant some roses, make your surroundings attractive. Be good to yourelf.

This is all good "medicine" for me, too!

My confidence has been shaken on several occasions these past two months.

So, when changes occur that scare us, there are some

very basic steps we can repeat over-and-over again.

And one day, we’ll have that fantastic sense of confidence back again that makes us

very attractive to those with whom we associate.

If Nelson Mandella can make a comeback after twenty-six years in a lonely

prison cell to become his country’s highest elected official, you know his

confidence suffered.

You and I can regain any loss of confidence as well.

I encourage you to forward this to anyone who has had a scare or is experiencing a

change in their life.

We need our confidence!